bloom verb [I] (DEVELOP)
to grow or develop successfully
Related words and phrases
May I have your attention from your year-end festivities?
I would like to start with a song. Immediate cringe with this statement LOL. I imagined standing in front of an audience, saying this, and belting out an offkey note that would cause people to laugh, cringe, or both.
But really, the only songs that can describe how I feel about this year are the ones that have gratitude and thankfulness as their central theme. So, I will refer to the lyrics of one of my favourite hymns from high school.
1 When upon life’s billows you are tempest tossed,
When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,
Count your many blessings, name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.
Refrain:
Count your blessings, name them one by one;
Count your blessings, see what God hath done;
Count your blessings, name them one by one;
Count your many blessings, see what God hath done.
2 Are you ever burdened with a load of care?
Does the cross seem heavy you are called to bear?
Count your many blessings, ev’ry doubt will fly,
And you will be singing as the days go by. [Refrain]
3 When you look at others with their lands and gold,
Think that Christ has promised you His wealth untold;
Count your many blessings, money cannot buy
Your reward in heaven, nor your home on high. [Refrain]
4 So, amid the conflict, whether great or small,
Do not be discouraged, God is over all;
Count your many blessings, angels will attend,
Help and comfort give you to your journey’s end. [Refrain]
If I remember correctly, we’d always sing this song at the end of the school term. And the way we sang with gusto? Stop! No matter how great or terrible the term went for you, you’d be grateful that it was over and that you’d finally be going home.
The second and final stanzas describe the life I’ve lived this year. I’ve joked a lot that I’ve lived many lives this year. Thankfully, this is the year I was more intentional about journalling my days, so I have a record of many of those experiences. ‘Twas a year I won’t be forgetting anytime soon. I always have a line of gratitude in all my journal entries when I write down the day’s activities. No matter how badly the day went for me, I’d always find something to be grateful for, and it would fuel my hope for a better day. I couldn’t find it in me to stay hopeless, not when I was still breathing.
Honestly, I have been through it this year.
From the first week in January, the battles started. I made a difficult but necessary decision to move out and live alone. Everyone was worried, and rightfully so, because I was doing that in another man’s land and would’ve been farther away from my community. But I just needed to do it. My mental wall needed a break and proper time to reinforce itself, and my living situation was not helping. I’m used to being in my space and enjoying my company, so the transition wasn’t that hard.
But a big shout out to my family and friends who would always call me to ensure I was safe and sound. It was winter – cold and dark all the time, so they were the extra light I didn’t know I needed. ***Bigger shout-outs to Tapoli, Maureen, and Agyeiwaa, who were on calls with me when I was doing mundane things like figuring out how stuff worked around the house and finding new routes in the neighbourhood—the three MVPs. And a huge thank you to Princess for sending me care packages randomly.
Workwise, I’ve been put through the wringer ei. Back to back, back and forth – I’ve really gone through it, lmao. I don’t know how I managed the way I did. It was some crazy determination and resilience. Last year, for our new grad orientation, we went to New York, and I happened to reconnect with one of the senior managers I met during my internship. She was so lovely, and one thing she said stuck with me ever since. When you’re starting out in any role in your career, say yes to everything. She urged us to take advantage of every opportunity that presented itself while carving out our own opportunities. It’s a big organisation, so the fastest way to learn the ropes is to do as much as possible in many areas. So that’s what I did this year, and boy, was it hard.
Fortunately, it was worth it in the end because I had so many opportunities throughout the year tailor-made for me. When one door closed, at least two more would spring up. I’m grateful that I was able to execute the vision I had for myself at work this year. I’m also glad that I genuinely enjoyed the process – that’s probably one of the main reasons I didn’t break. I found a system that kept me engaged at work by combining my primary role with volunteering and serving in different DEI groups at work.
It was a lot initially but it brought me joy and fulfillment. Plus it broke away from the usual mundane ways of corporate life. Whoever said you work hardest when you enjoy what you do spoke no lies. As a result of doing the most, I received so much recognition and awards within my team, externally, and even globally. My name was being mentioned in rooms I didn’t even know existed. That still blows my mind because who am I? I just showed up and did my very best, and God showed out.
In my 5-9, I have slowly transitioned from surviving to thriving in a way that’s uniquely me. I say it this way because comparison truly is the thief of joy. Unlike at work, where it felt like I got onto a rocket ship and shot up, at home, my pursuits have been like climbing up a rocky hill while trying not to get pummelled by nature’s obstacles. I’m pretty sure my response to “How’re you?” Was “I’m tired” more than “I’m fine” at a disproportionate rate. It wasn’t really a physical kind of fatigue because who sleeps more than me lol?
My heart was heavy most of the time, and I had a million things on my mind. I struggled to find balance and needed to let go of a lot of stuff before colour started coming into my life again.
I’ve found new hobbies that have brought me joy and taken me away from a mundane way of living. I built healthy habits that have kept me physically and mentally sane in this hard-headed year that I’ve gone through. I finally learned how to stay active throughout the week, and it wasn’t by attempting to do 30-minute HIIT workouts almost every day. It was by taking the longer route to walk whenever I could to get my steps in that week. It was by aiming to skip for at least 5 minutes every day to build endurance. Only then was I able to commit and even look forward to frequent thirty-minute weekly workouts.
I also started teaching myself how to bake because why not? I figured it was time I took up a new homebody hobby and this one would reward me with treats at the end. Hard could it possibly be? …Very, very hard. But I’ve learned so much from that. I’ve learned how to be kinder to myself in the kitchen. I now appreciate fully appreciate the saying “If at first, you don’t succeed try again” because yo! It’s been one heck of a journey and I thoroughly enjoy it now, and that’s a story for another day.
Knowing what balance meant for me was one thing that used to worry me a lot. If I’m being honest with myself, I’m always tethering on the extreme ends. It’s either I’m focused on one thing and put all my energy into making sure it’s just how I need it to be and neglecting other things in the process. Or I let go of everything just to rest or do nothing.
More often than not, the anxiety of not having enough [energy, time, space, any excuse in the book really] to do the things I need to do cripples my willpower because if I can’t go hard, I go to bed. I had my mentors very kindly “shout” at me for taking on so much and not adding enough time to rest and recharge. Much of the learning I’ve had to do this year is how to pace myself so I can do as much as I can and rest as much as I need. It’s still a work in progress, but I’m glad I’m doing better in terms of both time and focus management.
Taking the last few days off work to relax and reflect has helped put things into perspective. I’ve had a smashing year overall. I’ve been able to hit a lot of key milestones in many areas of my life without even realising it. Truly, count your blessings one by one, and you’ll be surprised. Nonetheless, I’m very aware of where I fell off and what I need to improve on. If I believe there’s no room for improvement, then that’s on me for being a little delulu.
The one word that defined my year (and other years to be honest) was bloom. I learn a lot from observing nature – must be from my name. And if you’ve never watched a flower bloom I’m linking a video here.
The timelapse doesn’t give the same sense of awe though. But the point of the background is that it takes days, weeks, and months for that one day that a flower will open up its buds and bloom. The growth and changes may not always be visible to the human eye, but as long as it’s in the right position, it’ll always be growing. That’s the mindset I carried into this year. That’s how I found room for gratitude even on the hardest days because as long as I was going, I was growing.
I won’t lie though; I am exhausted but in a good way. I feel lighter because I no longer carry anxiety but hope. Thank you to everyone I have ever said thank you to, even if as a formality or for the most mundane reasons. That little gesture most definitely made a difference. Thank you to my family and close friends who lent me an ear or two whenever I was overwhelmed and needed to talk it out. Thank you to everyone who affirmed and validated me; you helped keep the little little foxes away. To anyone that I was able to help in similar ways, to quote our favourite demi-god: “What can I say except you’re welcome!”
JK, I’m glad I could be a friend at that moment.
I’m ending the year the same way I started, with gratitude and hope. As always, I’ll spend the first month planning, strategising, and building myself up for what’s to come. It will be a bigger and better year because it really is only up from here. Until the next post, stay safe, stay healthy, and enjoy the journey.
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